Free audio porn chatline

I’ve never thought strapless strap-on dildos were the second coming of Christ. I have my Joque harness, I have well-loved strap-on dildos, and I am comfortable combining those things and fucking someone silly.

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These double-ended toys have a bulb end for the wearer to insert, and a shaft end with which to penetrate the receiver. It’s tempting to don rose-colored glasses when considering these toys. The “strapless strap-on” category of sex toy didn’t exist until a crafty lesbian developed and patented the design of the Feeldoe, which she brought to Tantus for production in the early ’00s.

Bodies can get closer, the toy is more integrated to sex, and partners feel more connected. For some good old-fashioned fun, I highly recommend poking around the inventor’s website, which is very gay, delightfully outdated, and laden with clipart and GIFs.

My favorite quote: “We don’t supply any pictures of naked people. ” Now, many sex toy peddlers have released their own strapless strap-ons: Vixen, Fun Factory, Happy Valley, Wet for Her. In bed with Aerie, staring at the spread before us, I realized, who wants to have such scientific sex? Like consummate professionals, we spent hours having mediocre sex, pausing frequently to take borderline-illegible notes in a notebook. PROBLEM #1: one thing we learned early in our testing was that, unless the dildo wielder is wearing a harness, they often have to keep their legs together to keep the toy from slipping out of their body.

Even the bigwig manufacturers — Doc Johnson, Cal Exotics, Swan — are getting in on the action. A shape that looks either genius or hella uncomfortable!? I don’t mind lining up dildos for a tasting flight when I’m alone, but I felt bad roping poor Aerie into it. On another occasion, to avoid having to decipher handwritten notes, we tape-recorded the session with my phone. Reasons that are likely to be true, at least partly, for a lot of other couples. Sure, if either of us concentrated and did super-kegels, we could keep the bulb inside ourselves. These dildos are too heavy, and as much of a boss as my vagina is, I cannot and will not actively clench with it the entire time I’m fucking someone.

One of the more recent additions to the category is the Share Vibe, a re-imagining of Fun Factory’s original Share. It was time, I decided, to see if this type of toy could work for my girlfriend and I. It was such a perfect encapsulation of our tribulations that I edited the hour-long file down to the best, silliest 5 minutes just for you: . I’m getting a stress headache just thinking about it. In cowgirl, the wearer still has to shut their legs most of the time, but at least they don’t feel completely inept at fucking.

So I rounded up several strapless strap-on dildos: the Share Vibe, Tantus Feeldoe More, Happy Valley Tango, and Tantus Realdoe Stout. You have to close your legs, clamp onto the dildo for dear life, and waddle over to your partner. The wearer can’t use their legs for leverage (as Aerie described it, “I’m basically a mermaid now, with a dick”) and must prop themselves up on their arms — as if they’re doing a push-up — which is neither practical nor sexy. With the roles reversed, Aerie had less trouble, but they still felt hindered. The Share Vibe aims to fix the falling-out issue with its extreme curves, but this had unfortunate repercussions.Consequently, the wearer can barely guide the shaft into their partner without help and can’t tell what’s going on down there without verbal confirmation. Aerie couldn’t hold the bulb in, even while clenching, because the toy was trying to fight its way out in order to spring back into shape.For me, ironically, the Share Vibe was both the one that locked into place best the one I wanted out of my body the soonest.I couldn’t stand the way it incessantly jammed my cervix. Its matte silicone helped it stay in me, sort of, so that I could thrust without closing my legs, sort of.But I was distracted by the pervasive feeling that it wanted to escape.With these toys, it always feels like danger is imminent.

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