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I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a 1997 book by Joshua Harris.
He feels that people date to find "their" mate according to their own principles, rules, and desires.
In doing so, he argues, people put up a façade in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, and this hampers the "getting to know you" part of dating.
He feels that it is more appropriate and more healthy in the long run to participate in "group dates" in order to truly understand the way a particular person interacts with others, since in a group setting in which some people know the person that person is less likely to be able to maintain a façade for the duration of the date.
Harris proposes a system of courtship that involves the parents of both parties to a greater degree than conventional dating schemes.
In an interview with Family Christian Stores, Joshua Harris indicated that "people have taken the message of 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye' and made it something legalistic -- a set of rules.
That's something that's beyond my control and it's disappointing at times...." On November 20, 2005 Harris gave a message to the church at which he is Senior Pastor, "Courtship, Schmourtship: What Really Matters in Relationships".In this message Harris acknowledged problems with how the singles related in his church.Harris indicated that there was a "lack of freeness between men and women in cultivating friendships".He also used the words "standoffish" and "tightness".In the message, Harris also indicated that it was "OK" for single men and women to go out for coffee by themselves, apparently correcting misconceptions some singles had in his church.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating