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And let me know how things have developed right here in the comment section. Or they did – but then they changed their mind and broke up with you. Well, it is theoretically possible – but how many times has it happened to you? You’re allowed to feel bad about it, and grieve your loss. If you don’t believe me, bookmark this article and read it again in 3 months. The only thing that was on your mind is how to get them back. You can’t see your life functioning as it used to if you’re not around this person. It’s possible your loved one is living in denial and deep down they are so in love with you only they don’t know it. You have to acknowledge this to heal your heart as fast as possible. Living in denial can only feel good for a short while. Make that list and take them of their pedestal, and you’ll see there are plenty of other amazing people out there. And last, but not least – you have to go get your life back. It’s the best recipe to feel loved again, and the best way to invite someone who’ll want and appreciate what you have to offer into it.

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If you want to get over someone who has left or rejected you, the first thing you have to do is face reality: they are not into you. If you two were such a great match, they would be in it as much as you are. This is particularly important if you are constantly comparing every new date to your lost love.

And you’ll see they are not that perfect as your selective memory suggests.

If you still think they are the best thing that has ever happened to you, and you’ll never find someone who can match them, you can do another reality check – make a list of all the things you didn’t like, you argued about, things that made you feel uncomfortable, their words, opinions and behaviours that hurt you. Once you see it on paper it might be easier to see why you didn’t work out.

The person who rejected you has a mind of their own, and you can’t change it by force. They are exercising their free will, and unless they choose you, you’ll have to walk away.

That will only prolong your agony, not make it go away.

But it’s better to go through this pain now than postpone it for later and live in false hope.A novel by Charles Stross Copyright © Charles Stross, 2005 Published by Ace Books, New York, July 2005, ISBN 0441012841 Orbit Books, London, August 2005, ISBN 1841493902 Copyright © Charles Stross, 2005.This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non Commercial-No Derivs 2.5 License.You are free to copy, distribute, display, and perform the work under the following conditions: If you are in doubt about any proposed reuse, you should contact the author via: For Feòrag, with love This book took me five years to write – a personal record – and would not exist without the support and encouragement of a host of friends, and several friendly editors.Among the many people who read and commented on the early drafts are: Andrew J.

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